PickledBullets

American Followers, Your Attention Please…

How many of you lot are Americans wishing to visit England one day? If so, here’s my take on it. You should save up as much as you can because it’s expensive, get a flight over here and spend as long as the authorities let you because it really is a brilliant place!

Obligatory Thornton’s Hate Post

It’s been a while since I’ve said it, so you fuck Penmark Thornton’s and every cunt who works there. I can’t wait until the shit tip shuts down and you’re all unemployed. Fucking cunts.

On Bill Haley

Bill Haley looks exactly how Vic Reeves painted Elvis Presley. Google it, it’s insane, but I noticed it earlier and it’s starting to freak me out a bit.

Old Age

When I see old people, I don’t see fraility or have sympathy. I see people who fought off evil empires, took more drugs than Charlie Sheen and fucked more than the entire cast of Geordie Shore. All just in bodies that are proof of how much fun they’ve had. Old people rule!

If anyone’s ever seen two old men fighting ourside of a pub, there’s a lot to be learnt. Firstly, don’t mess with a generation that invented rebellion. Second, when you see how quickly they become friends again. Life’s too short, so take a hint from the elderly and enjoy Life!

Note To Self…

You have a smart phone now, you thick cunt. Blog on this. You don’t even have to get out of bed, it’s wonderful. I know you won’t remember this in the morning, so I’m telling you now. Ps- fuck you, hahaha

Productivity

I’m under doctor’s orders to lay off alcohol now, which I’m starting from Monday onwards, so the next six weeks, I’m going to be insanely productive. Thank you for following me for so long, people. I assure you that quality writing is on it’s way whilst my body has time to repair itself from ten years solid of abuse. Who knows, clean living might be for me, and I’ll stick with it. Here’s hoping. I’ve been a bad boy thiss past decade. I want to change. Not for me, but for everybody I know, who deserves the old me back. Sorry for letting you down. You know who you are. Roll on change! I’ve never been more ready for it.

hymnal-of-alternative-music:

“Radio edit” is code for cutting the guest spot by a rapper out of a pop song.