There once was a young man called Rivers /Whose lyrics made teenagers quiver /But as he grew old, his verse grew more bold /And more confident when ‘t’was delivered.
The Blue Album was his first record with Weezer/ Superb, but not serious either/ Guitar-shredding pop -not one song a flop/ Its success spawned a miniature fever.
Perhaps ‘fever’ isn’t the word/ But success that veered more on ‘absurd’/ Buddy Holly- a hit/ Say It Ain’t So- the shit/ Written by a man fools had called ‘nerd’.
But fame is a dangerous drug/ It consumes and can turn you corrupt/ Pinkerton would come out, dispersing the crowds/ As if Nickelback were writing the stuff!
Pinkerton was too moody and dark/ For a band whom I’d warmed to their art/ And although it’s a favourite and I’ll still always savour it/ Critics snubbed it and broke his poor heart.
Old ‘Pinkers’ left Rivers embarrassed/ In the group, he became too empowered/ With ego came sin, so the band couldn’t win/ Then he went on hiatus, the coward!
Years in the wild ensued/ Cuomo locked himself up in his room/ Honing songwriting craft with an ear to his past/ And a song style similar to Blue…
Refreshed, Weez’ reformed in 2000/ To the awe of crowds numbering thousands/ Now feeling the love, our man rose right above/ to release Weezer’s astounding Green Album.
Coming out in 2001/ Green shone like a face full of rum/ It was short, sweet, complete and each song was a treat/ It even had Island In The Sun!
Out went the elaborate guitar solos/ In came melodies that choked me like Bolas/ The songs seemed naive- another ace up his sleeve/ Fans would witness the new, improved Cuomo.
This Rivers had an eye to the future/ Five years ago, he’d probably shoot ya’/ But with grace love and poise, he embraced the new noise/ And doing so, became a rock trooper.
Green sounds like The Beatles, a lot/ But are we complaining …we’re not!/ It’s crisp and concise, but still starry-eyed/ And gone were his more abstract thoughts.
Thoughts which first raised their head on Pinkerton/ Which he compared to a night’s heavy drinkin’/ When one’s full of shots, then “spilling their guts”/ To a group of friends when “you’re not thinking”.
With crunching guitars and sleek production/ The album achieved its main function / Four men from the States with new songs to elate/ People when at Life’s difficult junctions.
If you’re feeling you’re left on the shelf/ Then just take a listen yourself/ It’s only half an hour, but wields such power/ It could aid helping poor mental health.
Strong words, yes, but it worked for me/ Unlike Prozac, it really set me free/ And unlike a pill, it can’t make you ill/ And stare blankly at walls; a zombie.
Despite once being rock’s Darth Vader/ RC had come back as its saviour/Without hatred in hand/ And the love of his fans back where it belonged/ Right in his favour.
And so our story stops here/ About Cuomo’s mid-term career/ With skills paranormal and his dress sense informal/ He’s still a king amongst his peers.
Electric cars are brilliant. “Never buy petrol again” claims the advert for the Nissan Leaf. Instead, buy electricity to charge it which is made from fossil fuels, not to mention all of the fuel or will cost to make and ship them across the globe. Fuck you, Nissan! It’d be more environmentally viable to buy a cheap second hand car. I dread to see how smug Prius drivers will be when they get one, too.